Character Building....

I have one friend who has her kids separate an amount for giving from their own money. With that money, the children assemble gift packs for the homeless that the family sometimes encounters. In the packages are items the children bought from the dollar store: tissues, soap, cough drops, etc. I think this is brilliant. (And by the way, these children are young - 5, 7 & 9 - I think.)

This mom does not drive past people panhandling on the street and leave her kids wondering why she isn't practicing what she preaches (give to the poor.) She also isn't rolling down the window and handing over money which might go towards any number of unhelpful things. She got her kids actively involved in sacrificially dealing with need.

Another friend, who has been intentionally exposing her family to the plight of needy children around the world, recently hosted a tea party for her daughters' birthdays. On the invitations, guests were asked to contribute to a cause dear to the girls' hearts in lieu of birthday gifts.

Our kids need to see us helping others. Recently mine have helped make and deliver meals to families in our circle that needed comfort and support. They also need to know that we can bless others through phone calls and emails and hospitality. I make a point of telling the kids that in doing these things we are showing love to others.

Today I had my son out at the store to help fill a laundry basket of necessities for a boxing day delivery through a friend's church. Hats, mits, soap, toiletries - anything that everyone needs. But the boy could NOT rip himself away from the toy section. In the parking lot I had explained to him that he would not be walking out of the store with any toys, (especially since Christmas is two days away). I explained the goal was to gather and buy stuff that people need, in order to help out a family who might not have enough and thereby to share the blessings God has given us. He was all "yeah, that's nice mom" but the truth is he couldn't. care. less.

I need to do a better job of awakening him to poverty and need in the world. I think that up until now I was somewhat hesitant about that sort of thing because it is depressing and heavy and in a way, it destroys innocence. But the truth is that you can't truly appreciate how blessed you are unless you are aware of how the other 98% lives.

Tell me, how do you approach this issue?!

Where do you set the bar?

Recently I have been seeking the counsel of mothers of exceptional children and asking them to tell me what worked for them. I think it is important to have a vision for the kind of people you are trying to raise. Looking at well adjusted, christian teens and seeing the blessings that their lives are, shapes this vision. Ultimately, the main goal is to raise children with God honouring character, who are a blessing to others.

What do you want for your children? Where do you set the bar?

The one thing that these experienced mothers have shared with me is that they have been entirely unwilling to accept prevailing norms or attitudes about developmentally appropriate (mis)behavior. One called that psychobabble. The other excuseology. They were right. In fact, I would even take the label excuseology and apply it to myself.

I have to stop hiding behind the fact that certain misbehavior comes more naturally at certain ages than at others and start to look to the bar I have set. There will always be some developmental hurdle that my kids will have to overcome in order to grow into the kinds of adults God wants them to be. This is going to involve alot of consistent effort and some struggle.

But what could be more worth it?

"...but whoever causes one of these little ones who believe in me to stumble, it would be better for him to have a great millstone fastened around his neck and to be drowned in the depth of the sea." Matthew 18:6"

Sow a thought, reap an action; sow an action, reap a habit; sow a habit, reap a character; sow a character, reap a destiny.

A really great article along the same lines.